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[08 Jul 2009|01:36pm] |
I don't know if it's just me but I really hate being in town alone. Sitting in Starbucks at Wheelock isn't that bad, other than the coffee aroma that permeates every pore of your body as though you are a damn sponge to soak it all up. It gives me a headache, it does. And having free Internet twice as fast as the hostel's isn't that bad either. KI IS has been a bitch thus far, I can't seem to be able to go beyond Chapter 2. Well, considering how my IS will only have 3 chapters, it's not that bad too.
Moving on, there has been this thing that has been irking me for quite some time that I get pretty upset over it. Like yesterday, 3 different events. Background story- I was heading to the National Library to get some research and so I was dressed rather decently, shorts and a blue sailor top. So, event A: lecherous old man zoning out in the general direction of my chest and smiling. Ew, please. Event B: 20+ year old guy with quite a cute girlfriend. One hand on his girlfriend but two eyes on me. Event C: Bus home, the two ladies sitting opposite me talking about how pretty I am etc.
Okay Event C was quite nice but a little freaky because I'm listening to myself being talked as a 3rd person... I'm here, hello! And today, I'm extra decently dressed in T shirt and shorts but this guy at Burger King was staring at my legs. DO I NEED TO WEAR A FREAKIN' BURKA TO PROTECT MYSELF!!! It's indirect praise I KNOW I KNOW but I wish people had more subtlety. My poor nerves are quite shaken.
It has been a long and lonely week, and I'm not too sure I liked the break after Blocks. I just feel so much more disconnected and away from social life that I find it difficult to associate myself with life again.
/edit: make that 4. I forgot about the hostel lunchlady.
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[06 Jun 2009|09:42am] |
it's 9 friggin 42 am in the morning and why am i sitting at home typing this while jeremy ang has been waiting for me in coronation since 9? OH I AM A VILE EVIL LOATHSOME THING DIEEEE.
b-but... i swear i couldn't help it. my phone just friggin' crashed on me. and so now i'm restoring it from bits and pieces, it's software carcass draped across iTunes in different segment: 1. downloading iPhone software 2. restoring iPhone firmware 2. restoring iPhone from backup 4. sync in progress.
OH WHYYYYY. I'M SORRY JEM!!!!
kellie if you see this and i am uncontactable, meet you straight at the staircase inside queensway okay okay? ROARRRR.
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[13 May 2009|11:08pm] |
i love these people in life:
GPS. (+prissoh)
KI-llaz/Fatal Five (+photographer/photocopier jeremy ang and home provider athenatan)
<3 people that make me happy!
my two besties:
jemmm! this is our happy conversation shot rmb! we will always always always talk, you know that. and I really mean ALWAYS.
shaaaaaan! I love doing almost anything under the sky with you- baking, crying, laughing, mugging, trying-to-mug, eating etc etc.
and my favourite little furball:
MAMIEEEEEEEE~~~ I miss your presence in my bedbed :( you're my little furry and warm comfort in the winter you know? Okay I'd better translate. Maomeow prrr meeewmeow prrmeow maomew nyah maoooo!
you all really matter to me and so, thank you for being such lovelies.
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[12 May 2009|09:47pm] |
I overslept in the afternoon argh.
Anyway I really miss Taiwan and Berkeley right now. Was uploading the US photos and I saw Mamie again she's so sweet I miss waking up next to her purring in her sleep! And her waking me up just for patpats! Even though sometimes she sleeps on my chest and she gets angry when I roll her off, she's still sweet and there was this photo where she slept in a really awkward position it's so cute nyahhhhh!
Point being, I should go and study.
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[05 May 2009|10:41pm] |
and I kinda forgot to REALLY mention about syf. yes, we did well but i think on top of all that i believe that it could definitely have been done better and i'm sure we all agree because like ms lim, we're all little perfectionists ourselves. but more than just that, i think we could have done without a lot of all the last minute work and emotionally draining drama that cost ms lim her tears and health... but i really hope that we have all, learned something from this insanely arduous journey together. Especially the juniors- elections are coming soon and you'll soon lead choir to the next level of glory and love for music next year. I'll brief you guys on that next practice :)
also, i'd like to thank the teachers and seniors for coming back tirelessly almost every practice in the last month to push us on when we find it difficult to find the strength from within.
to everyone out there who have finished their respective syfs/ yet to complete their journey, i hope that whatever has happened/will happen is a memorable journey for you- one that you won't regret because you've given it your all.
after all, love surely has a better definition than a title.
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[05 May 2009|09:04pm] |
Tonight is once again filled with the silent hushes that I associate with peace and loneliness. The whirring of the air-con; the syncopated clickity-clack! of the keyboard; even the soft rustle of my night clothes- they all seem to form some unknown melody that the jacket on my chair is audience to.
Tonight is a night of celebration and indulgence. Indulgence is sweet, and in my case, literal. It comes in the form of B&J's Phish Food and random food cravings that my voice has denied me for long. It also comes in the form of a taxi ride from raffles city to home. And why is that sweet?, you may ask. Memories; despite the the bittersweet aftertaste. I close my eyes and try to see if I can make sense of it all; if I may reach out with my mind's eye to grasp onto something more... tangible. A scent, a tactile sensation... anything. But, no. The stale air of the taxi (one that has been exposed to the mercilessness of the driver's whiteflower oil and maybe one too many sweaty passenger) permeates everything- I can almost taste it with my lips pursed in an attempt to keep my emotions in. Still, it doesn't seem apparent why that would be remotely sweet.
Maybe because someone stuck chewing gum onto the taxi door handle. I found that out the hard way.
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[04 May 2009|10:15pm] |
rioHC.
As much as I have felt so much tension and anxiety over it in the past 2 months, it really just all boils down to:
1. the 45 minutes lunch
2. the 45 minutes make up and changing session
3. the 2.5 hour warm up and practice
4. the 15 minutes ride to VCH
5. the 1 hour of waiting
6. the past 9 months being in term
7. the past 6 years in choir
8. the hidden tears away from rioHC
9. the efforts of 10 batches
10.the love of 1 conductor
11.the music of 64 people
All will come together tomorrow; no more no less than perfection itself.
THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR SELF-DOUBT. SING BECAUSE IT MEANS SOMETHING TO YOU, BECAUSE YOU CAN FEEL IT IN YOU AND THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU.
Hell, I need NIGHT HELP TOO.
rioHC, I love you.
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[02 May 2009|09:02pm] |
This is for you, Jac.
"Your trusty support group" as ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) goddesh put it.
Know that I'll always be here. I've been here for 2, 3 years and I'll always, always be here when you need me.
I love you(:
<3 Shan.
P.S. Bitching sessions ftw.
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[28 Apr 2009|11:14am] |
RioHC. I question myself as a leader right now. It especially hurts when Miss Lim says that even if we do get GwH, we only deserve a silver. For our attitudes? For our bad planning? I'm not sure, and I don't know if I really want to know what she really thinks of the comm. It doesn't help that I'm having a really bad sore throat now and ergo, I'm not even in school today. To think that my section and the rest of choir is working hard every morning before flag raising while I'm at home sleeping... is not a very heartening thought when self-doubt hits the hardest.
I spoke to you last night. And I'm not sure if I am reacting the right way anymore. I do feel like I'm treading on eggshells around you- one wrong move and I can expect not to hear from you for a day. I wish I could go back to when we were just...at ease around each other. Not this acrylic stiffness that suffocates me more than I stifle you.
I feel bad for making the people around me feel bad when I'm down. As Jeremy puts it across, I seem more 'docile' now. I'm not sure if that's the right word; but whatever the right word may be, the real feeling behind it is that I have lost my fighting spirit. And that worries me, because that's what the choir needs most. A leader that will and can fight back for some abstract title that will be bestowed (or not) upon us on 5th May.
It's scary, how you've broken me before I've gotten to you.
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[14 Apr 2009|11:35pm] |
I've been experiencing some really bad depression this week. In addition to the upcoming dreaded H3 exam, I still have no idea what my KI IS is really about so my proposal currently stands in limbo. I will go consult Burge tomorrow and hopefully he will make it all better. Then again, it could get worse because I'd get even more confused.
Plus, my Block results are so screwy it needs a mega huge screwdriver to fix it. But somehow I feel so densensitized it's crazy. Anyway....
HUISHAN DON'T BE DEPRESSED ALSO OKAY! I'M SORRY I'M NOT REALLY THE BEST TALKING PARTNER NOW CAUSE I THINK I'D DIE OF BEING UPSET FOR YOU TOO.
JANG DON'T STRESS OUT BREATHEBREATHEBREATHE COUNCIL WILL BE FINE, I THINK YOU ARE GR8 AND JUST KEEP BELIEVING IN YOURSELF.
MICHAEL/YANGZI/DENYSE WE CAN DO IT OKAY! KEEP CALM AND FOCUSED AND WE'LL PULL OFF SOME AMAZING SHIT ON 5TH MAY OKAY!
CHOIR YOU GUYS CAN DO IT I'M NOT KIDDING. J1S YOU HAVE THE POTENTIAL AND J2S YOU JUST NEED THE LOVE! RIOHC FTW PLEASE!
(inserts some random encouragement for myself... but seriously I find it hard to find any.)
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[14 Mar 2009|06:19pm] |
Mid-blocks trauma have fully set in and other than spectacularly screwing ECONZ up, I am also facing Game Theory dread till the point that I skipped class today to watch Slumdog Millionaire. :D But things in life have gotten better rececntly-Athena has kindly lent me her (pretty beat up) lappie to temporarily serve my functions since mine has ggxxed.
Lunch at The Line yesterday with the GPS was great fun; I'm happy I've got great friends like that to tide me through the shit that people have been and will be giving me for things that I didn't do and things that they assume. But that, is a totally different story altogether. Speaking of friends, I've also really semi-enjoyed myself this time while preparing for Blocks, particularly for Lit and KI with The KI-llerz. KI was stimulating and entertaining especially when Max wouldn't stop humping Jeremy's leg after he rubbed his tummy. LOL gay dog. And prep in school while making Athena's mac sing out ridiculous lyrics about jamie and melly and pris. Lit was 5 hours straight of productive mugging, although Jeremy made us have an existential outlook upon everything else in life for the next 24 hours.
Econs, on the other hand, was anything but happy. EVEN THOUGH IT WAS MELLY'S BIRTHDAY AND WE WENT BTM TO CELIBATE. But all in all, all's fine and the mother's coming to town tomorrow so maybe then things will be better because i might get to shop yayz.
Still wondering if this is real.
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[17 Feb 2009|01:50pm] |
Somehow I feel like I have so much to tell you. I want to just write it all down and mail it to you. At the same time I want to just pretend nothing has ever occurred in the past month. I want to tell you, let's just forget the promise you made me. It's just too hard to wait by my phone, too hard to think about my significance to you.
Maybe friendship is overrated. And I'm afraid to ask.
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[11 Feb 2009|10:19pm] |
Like what Eli said, the pun has been used till the point of death. Yet it has never been so apt (yes we're all under pressure)... I'm used to oscillating moods and queer tempers but recently Under Pressure has really gotten it going. I don't mean it in a bad way, cause I love the cast and directors to bits and pieces. So because I'm lazy I'm going to post my pre-production well wishes here instead of writing it out. So at least you'll never lose it and it's saved in HTML format in cyberspace.
MELLY: First on my list for obvious reasons... I'm really grateful towards you for having cast me in the first place, and for having had been such a supportive director all the way. I'm especially grateful for the way you allow me to explore the characterisation of Zhihui in a really natural way, and making that character 'mine' is something I've come to really love. As a friend, you've still been honest and objective throughout and that's something I cherish. We've probably missed out on lots of essential studying during this time period, but as members of FF, we'll work with the other three to get back on track k? :) And even though you hated coming for rehearsals for a while, I'm glad you still love it now. I'll miss those rehearsals, but please keep those notes coming. Promise I'll write back <3 Just like Eliseus, I'm glad I found another friend in whom I trust.
ELI: I first thought that you're hopeless and you'll just come late all the time. I wouldn't say that the latter impression has totally been overthrown yet but the former impression, as I now realise, is completely false. Because I know that deep down, your dedication is overwhelming and that when you say something, it always comes from the heart. Even if that statement includes you desiring a new pair of Vans or something. As much as we like to tease you about being shallow, let me assure you that you're not. Through our conversations about Kevin/Zhihui, I've realised how much you and Kevin have become the crux of Zhihui as a character. And on top of that, thank you for having becoming one of the greatest reasons why Under Pressure means so much to me.
JOSEPH: Sometimes when I feel really fed up with rehearsals, you always manage to put a smile on my face by doing something really retarded, which is also strangely comforting. Please don't lose your voice again! Get well soon okay! You're really a brilliant actor and I wish I could method act like you! And to the JIA FAN BOYS: You guys are really funny, and it's great how you all try to perfect details together... it's really very heartening.
RESHMA AND JOELYNN: You guys have a combined entry because both of you are really Sharona/Mary-ish. Even after knowing you guys longer than most of the cast has, it's pretty disturbing to note that I call you guys Sharona/Mary subconsciously. I'm really grateful that this experience has brought us closer; to know each other better...Rock on tomorrow k? You guys are greaaat!
JINGWEI: The length of my post will be inversely proportional to your width and its breadth proportional to your height and thus it will be only two lines. JUST KIDDING! Thanks for ebing such a great sport and putting up with all the silly teasing and what not. You've really come a long way in singing and I think you've got a great voice so just flaunt it tomorrow and you'll be great. You have been a great motivating factor for me to work harder in terms of acting, so thanks x1000000!
RENJIE: XIEXIE YOUZ FOR SMSING ME AND MAKING ME FEEL BETTER! You always seem to be able to convince me that you really are Kai, and that's wonderful :) That aside... I've really enjoyed talking to you about nonsense, even if most of the nonsense is talking about how don't you wish your...polar bear...jacjac... Anyway you really shocked me on day 1 with your beautiful voice. GOD I HATE PEOPLE WHO CAN SING WONDERFULLY AND ARE NOT IN CHOIR! That includes you, Melly.
OLIVIA: I still can't tell the difference between Producer and Director, and I have a strange suspicion that... you don't either! NYEHHEHEHEH. Anyway, I know we've been a rowdy bunch that's really hard to handle... so thank you for your seemingly endless patience, and for putting so much hard work into this play throughout. From the secret stalking sessions so that you can get a candid photo of me to the last minute reassurances... thank you.
ZHIHUI+ERWIN+BAND: For putting up with the countless rehearsals and giving the music that has attracted people to buy tickets.
KELLIE: For putting up with me swapping tickets crazily with Yangzi.
YANGZI: For putting up with me swapping tickets to sell to the audience.
AUDIENCE: For putting up with the production to donate to Beyond Social Services.
JEREMY+ATHENA+JAMIE+MOLLY+CAST: For putting up with my whining.
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[01 Jan 2009|04:57pm] |
It's finally New Year 09 in Auberry. Spent most of the night looking up at the stars. From such great heights, the stars seems to hold more quiet mystery and wisdom.
I saw four shooting stars and I made three wishes. The fourth one I left for everyone out there; that they may have one wish too.
Happy New Year everyone :)
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[30 Dec 2008|11:58am] |
I was going to get round to typing my new year resolutions and one of them was to open my heart to more people next year. Be more tolerant towards all sorts of people and not be afraid of people.
Yet, I am still afraid. I find it scary and confusing how so many people out there think that I'm some intimidating bitch who doesn't give a shit about what other people think, and that criticisms just bounce off me like I don't hurt.
And I just don't think that's true.
I think I'm always concerned (even obsessed) with what people think or say about me. Every single modulation of tone or word choice may mean something or everything to me. A careless comment about how I'm intimidating and scary just hurts. Because I don't mean to. Because I don't know why. And because I don't know how to justify myself.
Sometimes I wish I could see who is honest and true to me, and how much they care about me. I used to have a bunch of steadfast friends tbat I thought would never betray me but it happened. I guess I still have Niang+Huishan+Lishian+Jeremy+Athena+Pris+Peirong (maybe, I don't know...). But what happened to so many more that I still care about but I'm just too scared to approach and really talk about how I feel? So here goes:
1. Jiawen
I guess you're first on the list because I've heard stuff about me from you through other people. Not nice stuff. And I guess I deserved some of that because we just don't talk anymore about anything. I'm sorry. I miss the days when we'd just go tuition and talk about crazy things till Kok shut us up angrily and we'd just munch on biscuits and laugh at Ms Teo with Peirong. I just wish both of us would pluck up the courage to tell each other how we really feel face to face.
2. Shi Qian
I kind of realise that nothing could really mend this friendship. Superficially, maybe. But both of us just lead lives that won't go beyond the how-are-you-I'm-fine-thank-you stage now. But I just hope you know that I had great times with you and those memories, albeit faint, will remain.
3. Qihan
I can't figure out how you feel about me. Sometimes I feel like you just tolerate me because of Hui Shan and Jeremy. And I'm afraid of that because I don't want to feel like I'm trying to make this friendship work by trying too hard. I'm trying so hard to be myself around you but I'm also trying hard to give you no reason to pass negative judgment upon me. You just clam up around me and sometimes I just want to cry and shake you and ask you if you really cared about the things I told you; or were you just uncomfortable with it all?
4. Melly
Don't get me wrong. You know I enjoy and love your company but we're polar opposites...and I'm just starting to trust you completely. Japan scared me a little bit, though. So baby don't break my heart <3
5. Eliseus
Not sure why I suddenly remembered to add you onto this list. Perhaps because of Under Pressure. I find it easier to have chemistry (whether on stage or not) with people that I trust, obviously. Remember the secrets I told you at the start of the year? I wasn't even sure why I told you; maybe I just felt that your presence was reassuring, and I remember you telling me that you'll be there for me when people start hurling shit at me. And I thank you so much for that. So I'm gonna give this budding friendship another try and I miss the retarded smses you send me about the pictures you take during tutorials or something...
They're so many more... but I don't think I can bear to think of any more today. My brain's pretty fried.
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[26 Oct 2008|11:38am] |
Have been spending the past mornings listening to 'Under Pressure' by different artists. Queen (naturally), Joss Stone, The Chemical Romance ft. The Used, and now I'm waiting for the one by Keane to load. They all feel so... un-singable. That makes me worried, it does! OKay this is going to sound blasphemous for people who support originals, but I like Keane's version better. More smooth, I feel.
Anyway, I realised yesterday that I have a love/hate relationship with shopping (I ain't no Athena!). I think the hate stems from the way mum pulled me around the whole afternoon around the mega shopping centres in Hong Kong+Vegas+Taiwan+China+Singapore+every other damn place we've been to. I remember distinctly how she will take the lift up to the top floor immediately and methodically work our way down, level by level. Imagine the excruciating pain of watching your mum take down clothes after clothes all tailored for adults; feeling all left out, size 3 feet feeling sore, thirsty, and very much bored. The only entertainment I gleaned was from hiding in between mink (because it's soft and smells earthy) and only surfacing when my mum's leaving.
So I guess shopping has never been a good experience for me when I was young. But now I guess things are different- I can wear most clothes due to er... recent developments on my torso and I get the final say on what I want etc. Still, I prefer shopping alone than having company. Strange, isn't it? Most girls love shopping together and having second, third, nth opinions about how they look in something; but I prefer to just trust my own taste and retain my personal style. I probably won't mind going shopping with 1 other person, like Jeremy or Huishan. It's just that I probably won't want to put Jeremy through the same torture mini-me went through. And Huishan's dressing style is so vastly different from mine her opinion doesn't count for much, because she'll say 'Oh I don't really like that; it's not my style, but then again it's just me.' i.e. we never reach conclusions+agreements. Other than the one time we agreed on the same beanie in Forever 21. Which is still the one and only thing I've ever bought from Forever 21.
SCREAM last night was cool :) Apparently the maze was scarier than the trail... But we were too late to go for the maze. The decoration was really cool and quite real, and I got quite a scare when we went into the toilet and saw this girl in garbs of white+splotchy red and stabbing something. Then Qihan appeared, and we just burst into laughter. The funniest conversations went like this:
Qihan (acting scary): Welcome... Let me show you-
Some dude: Whaaaat... the urinals is it.
Qihan (still acting scary+insane): GO FIND HER YOU MUST GO NOW! GO! GO!
Athena: Before we go can I check my hair in the mirror?
But nothing beats what Kee En said during his trail:
Alfred: You are going to die...
Kee En: That's what my mum told me when I told her I got a B for Math.
Alfred:... Shut up.
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[22 Oct 2008|10:17pm] |
Choir today was a strangely sad yet fulfilling day. And weird enough, I think this is a sort of optimism. In a way that even though we were put through the same heart-stopping anxious practice, I think we learnt a lot today and it has left me with a lot to think about.
Yangzi thinks that I have toned down a lot; that now I'm more warm towards the choir. I think she's comparing me to the 'me' in NY. Well, sure. I think I was really hard and demanding with nanyang... but with hwach i hope I'm taking the more 'nurturing' kind of role. I can't really express myself properly, but in essence, I think in hwach I care more about the people, the relationships and the journey. That's why today when I saw the forlorn faces of my darling choir I found it within myself, somehow, the capacity to put myself in their shoes and feel for them and with them, which is something I found very hard to do in nanyang... I think.
But anyway, I had a good bonding session in a14 classroom with denyse, whereby we played table tennis. Somehow, she managed to hit the little orange ball into the air-con, and she had to dig the sopping wet ball out. We had a little match, in which she ousted me with an outstanding score of 11 to... 10. yup. So now I owe that idiot monkey lunch. Jem thinks it's cute to call her Saru, which apparently means 'monkey' in Jap JAPANESE. Is that true, Kellie? Meanwhile, I am now known as Neko-chan because of my constant need to meow/purr. It's oddly satisfying, you really should try it.
Oddities aside, I need to email my mummy my grades. I hope she will see my Econs and KI grades first before zooming in onto Math. Oh, the horror.
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[21 Oct 2008|08:34pm] |
ISP is confusing me sufficiently. This morning it showed all our Humanz subjects overall grades as an amalgamation of Promos+Blocks, but now it is purely Promos (including KI). I am so confused. But I think I should stop visiting ISP to check it every few hours because nothing will remove the unsightly blemish of the black, spiky 'B' next to Math. It makes me quite annoyed, because I keep telling myself that I should be looking at the glass as 3/4 full, not 1/4 empty. But I am.
My headache and stuffed nose from this morning has not abated in the least bit, and it's just drumming a steady pattern into my brain. Or maybe it's just too much Tap Tap Revenge from last night. Revenge, indeed. But at least now Athena can be happy!
Sometimes I wish we were all less human. It sounds strange, but it is only because we are so human that we have such crazy desires for the 'better things in life'. We keep pushing ourselves for this faint ideal which none of us really know exists in our future. Most of us are in HP for its Oxbridge prestige. We want 4 'A's. 3 is just simply not... enough. I don't think any of us can ever be satisfied. We always want more, even if wanting 1 more mark doesn't make a difference to our overall alphabetical grade. I suppose we just glean pleasure out of counting the steps we've gone from the time when Barnard proclaims we'd never be able to do it (Melly, you know what I'm talking about). And sadly, I think our tutors count the number of steps we've gone with the number of marks we've gained, and pin our importance in this program accordingly (Renjie, you know it too). Part of me wishes to say I don't think all this is true, but I guess it is.
My headache's not receding at all with the thought of choir. I admit, I got really rather worked up yesterday when Ms Lim just battered us down with mere words alone. It hurts more than ever now, not only because we're in the comm now, handling things that dangle precariously on the proverbial precipice; but it really hurts when she pits one section against another section. I don't think it's my pride or dignity speaking, I think it is the conflict I hold with myself. I suppose I feel proud that the boys are picking up (albeit still a little slowly), but the girls just leave me feeling heartbroken. And the worst bit is that she's right in the things she says. We're bimbotic, we don't think, we lose our determination etc. And I feel as though I'm the epitome for all that. Maybe not the bimbotic bit, because when it comes down to choir I know how to keep my actions in line with expectations. But when I just can't get the dark sound Ms Lim wants, and I'm trying to cope with the million other things Ms Lim expects, I just can't meander my way through it all while keeping my emotions stable. Maybe I do have a weak brain. But that just contradicts with the grades posted on ISP.
Or maybe, it's the years of training under Ms Lim that has convinced me that you can't always be satisfied with one thing. There are more things to conquer out there, possibly? I have the bright sound- I think I've gotten it down pat. But I feel that I have so much more to learn, and I can do so so so much better. I wonder if it's the same for my studies.
I wish I channelled dissatisfaction in a healthier way; saw it in a brighter light.
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[18 Oct 2008|03:14pm] |
Holy fuck Singtel has a fabulous iPhone plan. I'm seriously considering it, since I intend to upgrade my mobile plan anyways (desperately need more talktime and SMS).
Sigh I hate this weather it's giving me colossal headaches.
Went to PS Cafe at Dempsey today, and I didn't quite enjoy the Spaghetti Bolognaise as much as I thought I would. I think next time when I'm there I'm just going to stick strictly to the drinks. But in any case, the dessert was fabulous, but I suggest (to anyone who's considering going there anytime soon) that it should be shared with at least 3 people. The main course has quite a generous serving, and the Ultimate Fudgy Brownie is quite huge as well. It's got walnuts and MARSHMALLOWS and ice cream, so it gets a little too rich after a while. All in all, I really prefer the lava cake at The Wine Company :)
Anyway, I need to take a nap to while time away, since Jem Ang is at SCREAM work session. I wonder if he likes drinking nice cold sugar-cane at night?
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[17 Oct 2008|07:45pm] |
This week has been a chaotic week, but ironically, life has been strangely still. It feels as though it's stagnant for now, and we're all waiting for the next thing to happen. We've been getting promo results back, and with the exception of math and perry lit, I'm pretty happy with everything else :) There's the shock from Econs and KI essay-- it was an unexpected surprise.
Sometimes I wish that I would feel more content with life, more satisfied... It feels as though I always manage to find something I don't like about life, and direct all the negative energy I have into it. I find displeasure in having too many choices for H3s, and wondering if my good marks are mere flukes. I hope people won't criticize me for how I think or feel; it's just that it feels as though in HP we all really want to make sure we make the best choice with our given opportunities. Mr Barnard talked to me the other day to consider my H3s carefully, because of the entire CAT business... But I've heard how Mr Barnard's favour sort of drifts around- in a sense that I might be one of the people he's keeping an eye out for now, but if I slip up next time...
It's quite scary how people stress when they do badly, when they are mediocre and even when they do well...or is it just me?
As for KI essay, I'm actually quite happy, though. Seeing how it's GOD who marked it, I feel as though at least I've gotten something that Mr Burge agrees with, and he wrote the longest comment ever! 5 words long--"This is an excellent response." Well, of course he wrote comments on the side, with regards to a certain sentence of mine which said "...only then can knowledge become certain and stable..." He underlined 'stable' and commented "or horses returned to stables!" That got me laughing so freaking hard. But I do wish that I didn't screw my own emotions after KI essay that day by thinking that I did fucking bad, and screw up my second paper on critical thinking.
Math's fucked up, so never mind. I should have totally dropped it and took Geog or something.
My Burge lit's not fantastic, but enough to salvage my Perry lit to get an A. I still have no idea what Perry wants to read, you know? I bet it's freaking karma. I once told him that his yellow shirt looks like bloody cat sick, while Molly told him that it's nice. And he was wearing it today when he returned it. So, karma bit my ass and I got mediocre marks. But Mouldie Molly did VERY WELL. Hmph! Aww kidding, Mouldie really deserves it, I think she worked hard for it :) There're people who really impressed me for Promos, like Melly (Yes, Melissa Yoong, yes you. Not 'Molly' with a typo. Molly doing well is a given already). It's like how I'll fondly think back about the times when we're studying for promos with our study group JJJAM (Jamie Jeremy Jacq Athena Melly) and I'd see how she seems uncertain about a lot of things and on the whole somewhat panicky. But you've pulled through so well!!! Good on you :):):):):) Well, then there's Jamie who's got here straight A's ehhh? :) On the whole I think our collusive oligopoly has done well!
Anyway I auditioned for Melly's musical today! I guess I'm not too worried about the singing part, but I've never freaking acted before so when I saw the script I just mumbled my way through the lines and the tiny voice in my head was mumbling as well. 'Stupid...stupid...stupid...'
Still, I'm looking forward to it. And there's Reshma and Joelynn!
I miss Jem.
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